Just another drop of blood
pearls cleanly off your Teflon-coated heart.
Just another silent scream
bounced off your inner ear, it seems.
Your smile is cold, polite and cynical,
your attitude professional and clinical,
you talk – for fear to hear things critical,
your busy mind manipulates subliminal…
The hour gone, your coffee cold,
I wonder how I felt so bold
to hope this time things would be different,
my anguish not remain untold,
my inner agony get heard –
did not get in to you one word!
The more I think it through
the clearer it becomes to me
ne’r has there been, nor ever will there access be
to your teflon-coated heart:
friction co-efficient .05,
incidentally the same as ice.
Can’t penetrate that smooth veneer
of smug detachedness, aloof fear.
Would like to get my claws out
and scratch it 'til it frays, flakes off,
yet only lacerate myself inside;
no use for me to cry and scream
and bleed, abide in hiding all the while,
self-imposed, enforced by you.
There goes another drop of blood,
pearls cleanly off your teflon-coated heart.
Out fades another silent scream –
unheard, while salty rivers stream,
in vain try to erode that barrier,
corrode, pit, crack the armour of its carrier.
Too damn right, your inner surface engineer’s
made sure that no real meaning will ever
be conveyed and get through here
to reach your innermost and feeling self,
lest what you hear be less that flattering,
or lack the light and superficial tone of chattering.
You say you want me bubbly and effervescent,
need me to buffer you from harm,
you want 'us' back, the way we used to be –
you say it with such charm…
Yet do you really know just how we used to be, and when?
It makes me cringe to hear such talking,
my bubbly self, I fear, 's worn thin!
I sense there's light beyond the darkness,
yet of that darkness you won't hear.
I'd take you by the hand and guide you,
right through the dark, into our promised land, so near.
Yet there can be no light without the shadow,
and only bitterness makes possible the sweet.
So long as you refuse my outstretched hand,
prefer to fake, prefer to pretend,
that all is actually just sweetness and light
it's me who lives the shadow side,
the bitterness, the dark, my part,
my burden, my plight.
There rolls another pointless tear,
pearls off your heart's sublime veneer.
There screams another drop of blood,
drips off your eardrums, left to rot.
There opens up another gash inside,
unnoticed, effortless to hide…
Over takes my stifling fear
that all's in vain, as far as near…