You're not a Victim of Circumstance

14 April 2015

Here is another way in which people chose to deny their own freedom of choice and abdicate responsibility for improvement, deny the fact that their entire reality is a product of choice: they elect to see themselves as victims.

And a very cosy and safe place it is, victimhood: no need to think for oneself, no need to take any action to improve one's life-circumstances, no effort needed at all, simply wallow in misery and blame the rest of the world. And if you are lucky and complain loudly enough, you might even find some sucker take responsibility for your well-being, or rather perceive it as their duty (!) to fix you, fix your life, fix everything for you. How easy is that!

Well, it may seem like the path of least resistance, but ironically it is not! It is actually very high maintenance, especially for the victim itself. Victimhood is an illusion, and maintaining an illusion is very energy intensive. It takes more effort not to see, or pretend not to see and ignore, all the many ways out of one's misery that there are! All the endless conversations with helpful people pointing out solutions which you have to dismiss, refute and put down as unworkable in order to justify your continued state of helplessness, all the opportunities and serendipitous encounters that occur in everyone's life that you have to shut your eyes so hard not to see and then look down to the ground when you bump into them by mistake (because your eyes were shut, duh…) All this takes up an inordinate amount of energy, yours and – newsflash! – that of those around you!

So here's a novel idea: why not give yourself and the rest of the world a break from your victimhood? Keep a personal power-diary and write down every night 3 things you could have done today to empower yourself and be more in control of your life but chose not to do. And then write down why you didn't do them. Hopefully you won't have to keep this kind of diary for long before you realise "Hang on, this is fucking stupid, I am self-sabotaging all along!" and become more perceptive of those manifold opportunities to own your power and take control of your destiny, and moreover take them up and act on them!

Don't be a victim, empower yourself! Only you can do it!